A Zen Cat Xmas Tale


A Zen Cat Xmas Tale

Dear Santa,

I know it’s a bit late to be writing a letter but I just got word that I’m on your list this year. Hell, talk about surprised, when I first heard that I made the A team I knew then and there how Saddam must have felt when he was pulled out of his hiding hole a few years back. Except! That I was like surprised in a good way. So before I present you with my register of wants I would like to get set a few things straight that may have occurred since you last updated that good boy / bad boy thing.

First of all I would like to clear up that little mishap with the Swinging Jesus venture that I had going on a few weeks back. At the time it seemed like such a great idea. I mean, being half Mexican/half Irish and living most of my young life in a Hispanic neighborhood I figured that kids having birthdays in mid December were getting a raw deal. You know one present now and in a few days when Christmas rolls around they would pick up the rest. Well, to tell you the truth being born in December sucks because that dog doesn’t hunt and as a rule “the birthday present” is usually a cheapie and definitely not electronic.

Unlike other birthday months where a kid usually has a rocking theme party and presents up the wazoo and all his/her friends are there and as a rule it turns out to be a great all around good time: December sucks.

So I thought. “HEY why not have it set up so that kids born in December can have a Mexican theme party that would tie birthday and Christmas together into the same celebration.

And I REALLY thought that the Jesus Piñata thing would work.

The first party was rolling around at a pretty damn good clip if you ask me. We had egg toss games, water balloon fights. We even had an Ozzie Osborne version of the pin the tale on the donkey where the kids would lay on the table and get fake tattoo administered by one another with indian ink and an electric toothbrush.

So when we ran the Jesus Piñata up on the old oak tree I thought for sure it would be a success but nooooooooo. As soon as the kids started whacking at JC (who happened to be filled with Lady Godiva chocolates mind you) some of the parents just went ballistic and the next thing I know I was tumbling across the front lawn trying to protect was not yet aching. I mean for Catholics these people were just plain violent.

So anyway Santa, all in all, you can see it was not intended as a malice act on my behalf. And besides I had to come up with my own bail. Try doing that when you only get one phone call.

Oh and I’m also sorry for telling the kids in my second grade class when we were on our last field trip to the cemetery that the statues were really kids that got long detention time. Other than that I’m think I’m still cool on the list eh?

Now if that is the case, I think it would be really cool if you could fix me up for a weekend with Angelica Huston. If not could you Photoshop an image of her on the inside of my eyelids.

Statue photograph taken at Inglewood Cemetery – Inglewood CA 2005

Posted by Zen Cat on 2005-12-11 04:57:45

Tagged: , Zencat_Tales , BW , BlackandWhite , Inglewood_Park_Cemetery. , Xmas_can_kiss_my_Olive_Butt , Gravesights , Graveyards , Cemteries

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